My wife's cousin (who is now my cousin) was happily married last Saturday. However, the same feeling was not shared by many of the wedding guests who attended the ceremony and dinner. It was a mix of western and oriental traditions, which is just fine with everyone. The problem started even a day before the wedding reception.
In the Chinese tradition, the groom is supposed to pick up the bride from her house with his entourage. In my cousin's case, he was to fetch his wife-to-be from somewhere near Kuala Lumpur (KL) which is about 120km from Melaka, where he lives. The night before the reception, he called up my brother-in-law (who had only just arrived in Melaka late evening) at 11:00PM to be the substitute driver. Well, obviously he refused as he was exhausted after the journey from his office in KL to Melaka, so he wouldn't want to wake up at 4:30AM just to make sure the groom is in KL by 8:00AM. In the Chinese tradition, there is a pre-determined time to pick up the bride. Why in the first place didn't he think of having a substitute driver much earlier? Thank goodness, he managed to get one that night.
Secondly, guests spent too much time in the venue (hotel) where the tea-pouring ceremony was supposed to take place. After the sermon and exchange of vows, my cousin decided to begin with the photography session with family members, relatives and friends from BOTH sides. The poor elderly people who had been eagerly waiting for the tea-pouring ceremony had to wait about 45 minutes before the tea ceremony began. To me, my cousin was being rude for not prioritizing on the tea ceremony. Guests were tired and they had only 3 more hours to be ready for dinner.
Thirdly, guests were put up at THREE different hotels because all other hotels were fully booked by tourists. It has been the norm for guests to stay in the same hotel for both reception and dinner. As a result of the blunder, guests had problems arranging transport from their respective hotels to the venue, and vice versa. My uncle from UK was pissed off as he had to wait for a cab and he had a mere 2 hours prior to the dinner. In one particular hotel, guests checked in only around midnight as they did not have time to drop by on their way from KL to the 2:00PM wedding reception.
Do you know what the greatest "joke of the day" was? My cousin was so "excited" that he forgot to pay the bill for one of the hotel rooms that he had booked for his relatives. The receptionist called my wife on checkout day- what the hell for? She merely helped to get the room keys a day before; the booking was done by this cousin. The hotel called again at 9:30PM - bill still not paid!!! My cousin finally settled the bill the following morning. How shameful it is for a young doctor to do this.
All these happened because of one simple reason. Both of them were in a hurry to tie the knot. We were informed only a month ago about the marriage. In fact, everything was done within a little over a month!! I guess my cousin thinks he's super human. The reason for the rush is: "I don't want to be posted to a faraway land." - getting married is one way that he hopes to escape from being posted to a rural place to work.
And you know what else? Some of the guests did not receive the invitation card - it was mere verbal invitation.
Consequently, there were sulky faces that night. People were still talking about it even over breakfast the following morning. It was a disgrace. What my uncle said that night after everything was over was true: The whole problem was, "No communication, no consultation and no coordination." - the 3C's.
Moral of the Story:
Plan well in order to avoid such disgraceful moments. You'll need at least 6 months. It will save you and your family embarrassment.
In the Chinese tradition, the groom is supposed to pick up the bride from her house with his entourage. In my cousin's case, he was to fetch his wife-to-be from somewhere near Kuala Lumpur (KL) which is about 120km from Melaka, where he lives. The night before the reception, he called up my brother-in-law (who had only just arrived in Melaka late evening) at 11:00PM to be the substitute driver. Well, obviously he refused as he was exhausted after the journey from his office in KL to Melaka, so he wouldn't want to wake up at 4:30AM just to make sure the groom is in KL by 8:00AM. In the Chinese tradition, there is a pre-determined time to pick up the bride. Why in the first place didn't he think of having a substitute driver much earlier? Thank goodness, he managed to get one that night.
Secondly, guests spent too much time in the venue (hotel) where the tea-pouring ceremony was supposed to take place. After the sermon and exchange of vows, my cousin decided to begin with the photography session with family members, relatives and friends from BOTH sides. The poor elderly people who had been eagerly waiting for the tea-pouring ceremony had to wait about 45 minutes before the tea ceremony began. To me, my cousin was being rude for not prioritizing on the tea ceremony. Guests were tired and they had only 3 more hours to be ready for dinner.
Thirdly, guests were put up at THREE different hotels because all other hotels were fully booked by tourists. It has been the norm for guests to stay in the same hotel for both reception and dinner. As a result of the blunder, guests had problems arranging transport from their respective hotels to the venue, and vice versa. My uncle from UK was pissed off as he had to wait for a cab and he had a mere 2 hours prior to the dinner. In one particular hotel, guests checked in only around midnight as they did not have time to drop by on their way from KL to the 2:00PM wedding reception.
Do you know what the greatest "joke of the day" was? My cousin was so "excited" that he forgot to pay the bill for one of the hotel rooms that he had booked for his relatives. The receptionist called my wife on checkout day- what the hell for? She merely helped to get the room keys a day before; the booking was done by this cousin. The hotel called again at 9:30PM - bill still not paid!!! My cousin finally settled the bill the following morning. How shameful it is for a young doctor to do this.
All these happened because of one simple reason. Both of them were in a hurry to tie the knot. We were informed only a month ago about the marriage. In fact, everything was done within a little over a month!! I guess my cousin thinks he's super human. The reason for the rush is: "I don't want to be posted to a faraway land." - getting married is one way that he hopes to escape from being posted to a rural place to work.
And you know what else? Some of the guests did not receive the invitation card - it was mere verbal invitation.
Consequently, there were sulky faces that night. People were still talking about it even over breakfast the following morning. It was a disgrace. What my uncle said that night after everything was over was true: The whole problem was, "No communication, no consultation and no coordination." - the 3C's.
Moral of the Story:
Plan well in order to avoid such disgraceful moments. You'll need at least 6 months. It will save you and your family embarrassment.
7 comments:
I plan my marriage 11 months ahead and it was not easy. Let alone prepare in 1 month!
it isn't easy to plan a wedding, even if you hire a wedding planner a month just isn't enough, well probably if marry at ther registrar. I too planned my wedding a year before the date.
Pitty him also, seems like he's not getting help from close relatives. Maybe he shud just register their marriage 1st and do the ceremony later.
well, the fact is, 1-2 months of preparations is not sufficient. Not sure if his relatives weren't helpful. Maybe he couldn't get along with them - or maybe ... oh, well. They're married now.
wah..like very farn la.. (stressful wedding reception) ..
btw, will yr cousin read yr blog? anyway, hope he wont be posted far far otherwise all these will be in vain..
He's the bridegroom, he has no time for everything, he need to get help from friends and family member before head.
I took 1.5 year to prepare for my wedding which makes almost everything running smoothly!
oh my gosh....what a disaster wedding indeed....tsk tsk....personally I don;t like going to a wedding w/o invitation....lol....:) looks like instant wedding....well, on the other hand...at least it is all done now...:)
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