Who's Smarter: Boys or Girls?

God created men and women. Both have their specific functions in this world. People say that men and women are created equal. To a certain extent, that's true. Both genders have four limbs, they can do things, they have emotions and they have a brain to think. As time goes on, the gap between both genders narrows. As such, we now see women at the helm of large corporate companies or lead nations.

In today's papers, I saw the following headlines in one of the pullouts: "Are boys smarter than girls?" - why is it so important to discriminate intelligence by gender, I wonder. In our modern technology era, we are still so stereotypical if we believe that boys are indeed smarter than girls. Kids now are far smarter than we were ages ago; they're exposed to lots of new stuff at an early age, their brain develops faster due to "better" nutrition. In fact, both boys and girls do well in public exams, too.

However, in terms of skills and interests, you may see some differences. Boys are generally more inclined toward technical stuff and hand-work, while girls are generally better in the arts, communication and emotional control, for instance. Are these differences sufficient to make a generalization that boys are smarter than girls? Definitely not.

Although boys and girls are "equal", there will be differences. Both are smart, and both are capable but their skills and interests will not be the same all the time. So, it is rather unfair to debate this issue - I would call it gender-biased if still believe that boys are smarter.

L.I.F.E

Life can be good one minute, and bad the next. The thing is, nobody knows when your life will change. When I was working, I was really determined to be single, or choose my own partner if I wanted to get married. However, years down the road, a colleague introduced an ex-colleague to me. Within a year, we were registered and then got married! Then a few years later, guess what? We were divorced!!!! See how things change? You may also get a nice job; you tell others how happy you are with your colleagues and work, but months later, you get retrenched and find yourself jobless.

Life can also be cruel. Sometimes you honestly believe that the person you meet is the most suitable one in your life like what happened to me earlier. Everything seems to be smooth, but then the bombshell is dropped onto your head. That person is not who you think he/she is. A better one comes along. Then just when you think things are going to end happily, it happens again. You wondered why you keep getting "punished" like that. It is really cruel, but it is a learning curve. We need to understand that things like this happens - I have to understand that, too.

Life can also be good. You're blessed with a family, friends and people who often support what you do or when you're in trouble. I have one such friend who remains loyal to me till now. She has been really nice to help me through my recent loss when some other "older" friends just didn't bother. Life is also good when you have love, can give love, and can receive love.

So what is life? Life is:

L = Life
I = Is
F = Full of
E = Experiences

Some of these experiences are good, others are bad. It's not easy to forget the bad, though, but in life, it is just a phase that you have to go through.

Live to Work, Work to Live

You've probably come across this question: "Do you live to eat, or eat to live?" - There is no right or wrong answer. However, your response indicates your attitude. In the same light, ask yourself this question: "Do you live to work, or work to live?"

(a) Live to Work

People who live to work are generally more genuine in their work. They consider work as not only part of life, but part of fulfilling their obligations to society. These are people who wouldn't mind working voluntarily as they know that whatever work they do helps those whom they work for, and work with. Basically they enjoy what they do for others. The work they do is not limited to merely professional jobs but also non-professional or white collar ones. People who live to work love people, and will continue working till they're incapable of doing so anymore. Those in this "live to work" category usually participate in charitable organisations as volunteers to help others in times of need.

(b) Work to Live

Most of us fall into this category. Why do we work? We want to support our family, we want a good life, we want our kids to have good education and the list goes on. In short, the only reason we work is because we are required to work or else they would be some kind of consequences. No work equals no money; no money means no food, and that leads to other issues. When you work to live, you also tend to befriend the big guns with the hope of getting better perks that would in turn help you pay your ever-increasing debts, or to get better comfort for your family. You mix with all your bosses, you get to play golf with the VIPs (Very Idiotic Politicians) just to get some favours from them. People who merely work to live generally do not really enjoy work, and find work a chore.

Is there a possibility of having both elements in our lives? Yes. All of us need to work because we have to support ourselves and our family. No one can deny that but we also need to help others too even without being paid because that is where true satisfaction lies. So, have a balance of both work to live, and live to work. Then, I believe that our lives will be more meaningful.

Our Destiny

A couple of hours ago, my sister's mother-in-law was comforting me on my recent divorce. She told me a real story of a Feng Shui master who tried to avoid being robbed. This master was so good that he precisely calculated the time that the robbery would take place. Once he got the time right, he took all the precautions to ensure his house would not be broken into. On the day the robbery was to take place, he decided to stay up till it happened so that he could put a stop to it.

At the exact time the robbery took place, he somehow fell asleep! His house was robbed but the damage and loss were very minimal. This incident clearly shows that when something is destined to happen to you, it will happen no matter what you do. Feng Shui plays a part in minimising the effect, though, as shown in the real example of the robbery above. If the master had not taken precautions, he would have suffered a greater loss.

Therefore, if you're destined to be married, you will; if you're destined to be divorced, you will; and if you're destined to re-marry the same person who adamantly wanted a divorce earlier, you will too. Our lives have been predetermined, programmed from the very beginning by The One above. Those who do not believe in destiny would say it's a load of rubbish. It doesn't matter because we all have our own views. One thing's for sure - if we are destined to die tomorrow, we will, no matter how hard we pray and look after ourselves.

What I've learnt from the real incident is that we should never force things to happen. If things are not meant to be, it just won't happen.

Auto Repairs

Owning your own set of wheels is not a luxury anymore. In modern times, almost every one needs a car to take them to work or to a place of interest with their family. Owning a car also means that you'll have extra responsibilities because you need to take care of your vehicle to ensure it gives you a pleasurable, trouble-free ride. This is possible only if you send it to the regular auto shop to have your car checked. Los Angeles auto repair is one of such places you could take your car to when your starts giving you signs of trouble.

If you love Honda, then you'd want to check out the link. One of the cars that I'd like to own is Honda Civic. Honda Civic enthusiasts will find that the website also includes reviews and ratings for not only Hondas but also other vehicles. So if you're shopping for a used car, this is the place for you to check out with your family.

If you'd like to know more about car maintenance, the website also has an Auto Repair Encyclopedia online. There are lots of articles to teach you about looking after your car. If you want to know more about head gasket replacements, for instance, it's there on the website. It is a resourceful website for car lovers.

Cool Mailboxes

Has anyone not received any letters before? Well, unless you live in a cave, chances are you would have got letters, if not every day. Do you know that there are companies that specialize in making mailboxes? Yes, I checked out the website, and I'm amazed at the different designs and shapes that mailboxes come in nowadays.

The days when the mailbox stood on a thin pillar with a little flag on it are gone. Now, you get not only the traditional types, but also wall mount mailboxes that accentuate the look of your house. Having a great-looking mailbox makes your house look nice; it actually compliments your house. There's no house without a mailbox. Your unique mailbox could even be a conversational piece! This company sells high quality residential and commercial mailboxes.

Marriage is a Garden

You have a house called a home. You have a beautiful lawn that surrounds your house. What do you do with that lawn to ensure it remains alive always? You take good care of it; you weed the grass, water the plants, remove harmful pests, put fertilizers regularly. The end result is: A great garden that impresses visitors and makes you feel proud of what you have achieved.

Marriage is like a garden: it takes a lot of love and a little work each day. You plant the seeds of love. Then you shower the love each day with care, and let it grow. Along the way, add fertilizers of joy to enhance the growth of your love. Don't forget, there are weeds of anger and pests of pain which married couples must deal with too. If you ignore your garden of love, those destructive elements of nature will ruin the marriage that you have both built. To make things worse, sometimes there are creepers nearby making its way into your garden, turning your marriage garden ugly. However, if you really care for your garden of love, you mustn't give up. You'll make sure that things work out fine no matter what. Throw away withered plants and sow new seeds of love... and the cycle of love continues eternally.

It takes lots of love, a little work (sometimes more), plenty of patience to see your flowers bloom, and an understanding of how to create a healthy marriage garden. Then, your marriage garden is your paradise.

Parents, marriage, divorce

Parents bring you to this world, educate you and help you grow. When the time is right, parents will release you from their care, and let you be on your own. Their dominance on your life ends when they set you free. You're now an adult, you've to make your own decisions and face the music if you make the wrong turn, yet parents are the ones whom you could always rely on to support you all the way because they love you. When it's time for you to tie the knot, you will not be under their wings anymore. You're flying to a new territory called "marriage". Your parents will finally wash their hands and let you be in the care of the person whom you have chosen to be your life partner - or will they?

There are parents who are just as dominating as before they give their child's hand to another man or woman. They are still the key decision makers. Such parents would never let their child go in the real sense as they will be closely monitoring what happens around their beloved child even after marriage. If everything's fine, then they're happy; if not, they'll shift gear and start taking the necessary steps to protect their grown-up child. I believe many modern parents are like that - correct me if I'm wrong. Gone were the days when parents do not interfere with their child's marriage as they're adults and therefore should know how to handle life in difficult situations.

Which parents do not love their child? However, once their child leaves the household and moves on to have their own family, there's only so much parents could do to express their love. The wife is responsible to the husband, and it is the husband's responsibility to love and care for his wife, too. In marriage, there will be problems - sometimes serious, sometimes moderate. Tell me which marriage is trouble free? Unfortunately, some parents don't recognise this fact. When there is a serious problem, they will immediately protect their child, and even encourage their child to file for divorce. Personally I believe that no parents in this world would want to see their child end up divorced. They would do their best to ensure that their child's marriage works. Sadly sometimes it's just the opposite. The minute the child says: "I want a divorce", the marriage will end no matter what. Worse still, the parents would have already planned their move when they anticipate a divorce, hence when it really happens, they move in real quick to put a stop to the marriage. "Nah, it doesn't happen in real life" - does it? Well, it certainly looks like this came out from a romance movie but it's not.

I believe that no matter how bad a marriage turns out to be, there must be room for reconciliation in a disagreement. Even if trust is lost, there must be room to allow the trust to be rebuilt even if it takes months or years to do that. Only then, will marriage be more meaningful to those affected. Couples cannot run away from issues, and divorce is merely a last resort when there is no more hope or when the damage is too severe. A divorce is not the way to escape marital problems; a divorce brings severe implications to both the husband and the wife. In Asia, especially, divorcees are not highly looked up to. "There must be something wrong with this guy (or girl)" - they would say, or else he wouldn't be divorced. Asian singles do not usually want to marry divorcees... the minute they know your marital status, they'll most likely think twice about taking you out on a date.

Therefore, before you contemplate having a divorce, think first. In addition, parents should be aware of the consequences if they support their child's divorce cry. It is certainly not pretty, but if there's no choice - the damage is too great to reconcile - then the best way is the Big D, regretfully.

Note:
If you'd like to respond, kindly do so based on the contents of this post only. Thanks.

Chinese New Year 2010

Chinese New Year - also known as the Lunar New Year - is held each year in January or February depending on when the new moon begins. This year, it begins on 14 Feb. 2010, which is coincidentally Valentine's Day too. For my family and I, this year marks a difference in celebration. The most significant difference is that we didn't have to wake up early to visit our elderly aunt in town. Gone were the days when we had plenty of relatives to visit, therefore we had to wake up very early and go to their homes to pay respect to them a Happy Chinese New Year. This year, there is only one; the rest had passed away.

The reunion dinner on the eve was rather different as we had a mix of northern Indian and Chinese cuisine. The spread was still good, though (see picture below).

The spread on our reunion dinner - a fusion of Chinese and Nothern Indian (take note of the tandoori at the top left of the photo)

For me, this Chinese New Year is a black one as I'm mourning the death of my 3-year marriage. Due to irreconcilable reasons, my wife decided to dump me a month ago. Nevertheless, in the true spirit of the double celebration, I sent my wife a Valentine's Day-cum-Chinese New Year card. Well, she gave me the cold treatment; there wasn't even a word of thanks when I sent her an SMS to send the new year's greetings on the first day. It doesn't matter; it's the thought that counts.

I ended 2009 on a bad note, and this continues in 2010. Hopefully, the second half of the year is better for me.

Marriage: Blissful?

Getting married... how blissful, they say.

True, provided the husband and wife are able to sustain that marriage no matter what. It will be a good marriage if both parties are able to be very patient, understanding and tolerant with not only each other but also each others' parents' sometimes cranky behaviours. It will be even more fruitful if the couple are able to accept each others' flaws, discuss things openly, and make their own decisions rather than having their parents interfere.

To those who are married, treasure your spouses, be tolerant and understanding of their needs. Respect every one - especially your in-laws - no matter how much you dislike them. Time will heal any traces of anger (I hope). To those who are contemplating to get married, make sure you know your future spouses and their parents well before you tie the knot. "When you get married, you're married to your wife's family too" - that's what they always say.

Getting married is easy. Just go through the ceremonies and you're officially married. However sustaining this marriage for all eternity, through sickness and health, through happiness and sadness is something that not every one could achieve - thus, the divorce.

Can We Change?

Recently, someone told me: "When you're married, you expect your wife to be the same but she changes; your wife expects you to change, but you remain the same." - this got me thinking. What makes people change, and how long does it take?

People change for one main reason - to be better humans than what they were before. They want their lives to be more meaningful, they want to feel good while making others feel comfortable being with them, too.

Yes, people can change but if you expect them to change overnight or even in a short duration, you will be disappointed. We have been so accustomed to our unacceptable behaviour for years that when your parents or spouse or even the community demands that you change, we need time to do that. If you have been a lazy person, would it be THAT easy to just be hardworking in few days? No. If you have been a very temperamental one, could you just turn over a new leaf in a month? No again - at least that is what I think now. However, I do agree that in order to change, we must sincerely want to do that, put a lot of effort, and I must add that change must be voluntary too or else you'd just return to your old self.

Time is what it takes to change a person. You may stupidly repeat your mistakes more than once but it doesn't mean you are not able to change anymore. Like what I've said, whether you will eventually change depends on your sincerity. If you change to please others or to bow to pressure, then it won't work. If you change because you're now aware (after so many blunders) that you're hopeless and want to be a better person, chances are you will succeed, and the change will be permanent.

I personally don't believe that we should give a definite time to make this change; it has to be done gradually. A classmate made an abrupt change. He had been a quiet person all the while. One day, I noticed that he started talking to everyone, said hi to everyone; his own classmates started talking behind his back and said that there was something wrong with him. This is a good example of how important gradual change is; it should never be forced upon you.

Another important point to remember is: "Before you think of changing others, you have to change yourself first." - so, don't give a long lecture on change to your friends, siblings or even your spouse when you yourself refuse to change.

For Golfers

Golf is one of the very few sports that requires precision and accurate judgment of distance in order to get the ball into the hole. Its origin is unclear, but this sport is definitely gaining plenty to attention.

If you're an avid golfer, how about teeing off at a nice location at Myrtle Beach Golf where you could spend your time with your family while enjoying a few rounds of your favourite sport with your friends? Located at Myrtle Beach in South Carolina, you could tee off from a selection of over 100 golf courses!

How about choosing the best Myrtle Beach Golf Package to suit your taste? You can do that too. The good news is that you could save as much as up to 50% off its regular rate. The extra money saved could be used for other useful activities for the family while you're there. Check out Golf Packages Myrtle Beach Golf

Don't forget, you're there not only to play golf, but also to relax with the ones you love. Visit Myrtle Beach Golf Vacations and select from a host of resorts around North and South Carolina at affordable rates. Book and enjoy the serenity and beauty of the landscapes and surroundings.

Web Hosting Services

Nowadays, just ask anyone you know, and it's very likely that they have their website or a blog on the Internet to sell their products and services, or merely to share their thoughts. Some of these websites were created using web hosting services that charge subscribers a nominal fee while others charge a higher one. While free web hosting services are good for the pocket, the features are very limited, and you do not have much control on the interface. Worse still, some web hosting service providers do not have good customer service.

If you are serious about creating a website, it is advisable to get your own domain from a reliable web hosting provider. Such providers are able to give you free domain names as part of your purchase. Therefore, you don't have to pay the annual fee and domain name registration separately.

In addition to that, look for web hosting providers that allow you to earn some money through advertising or by using Google AdWords. There are providers who disallow subscribers to do this, so they'll not be able to generate any income via advertisement banners in your website.

Life is Harsh

Look at this scenario; if the hat fits, wear it. :)

THE SCENARIO

You've been a good member of your family for years. Family members and friends know you as a humble, kind, friendly and approachable person. They know they can depend on you for anything, including having an ear to listen to their qualms. Then one day, you make a horrible blunder which is difficult to not only forgive but to forget as well. From that day on, your family's and friends' perceptions toward you change dramatically. You're no more the good person; instead, you've become their Public Enemy #1. You've lost all their trust and their respect as a result of your blunder.

Weeks pass, then months. You had been on an emotional roller-coaster during this period. You're now a new person. You're back on your feet as you've learnt a painful lesson from the blunder that you had done earlier. You try to work your way real hard to earn the trust and respect of the ones that are dear to you or close to your heart. You know you've changed. However, that came too late because those who had good vibes about you long ago have nothing but hatred, disappointment and resentment now.

Question:

What should you do to really win back their trust and respect for you?

Answer:

Absolutely nothing extraordinary. What you had done could not be undone but you have learnt from your mistakes, which is good. I've learnt from my past experience that no matter how much you try, nothing can ever reverse the perceptions of those who love and adore you once you have hurt or betrayed them. The reason is, it had been truly painful, and they do not accept the fact that you can change any more; even if you did, the pain would still be etched in their hearts and minds for ever more.

Therefore, you should just be yourself, continue doing good to every one including those whom you have hurt or betrayed. By doing this, you are exhibiting your maturity rather than by just being a sour grape or cutting all ties with them. Doing so won't solve anything. If these people still refuse to accept you as the person they once loved and cared despite your efforts, then it only shows that they've the mind of a child. If you're lucky, they would eventually welcome you back; if not, life goes on. God always tells us to forgive. The Buddha would say forget the past, learn from it, focus on the present and move on to the future.

There's one thing that we should all know:

If you have been good all the while but you suddenly do something bad, you'll forever be bad from that day onward. If you've been bad but you suddenly do something good, you'll still be considered a bad person. That's reality of life. People just don't accept you as a human; they expect you to be as clean as a white sheet of cloth. There should not be any margin for error, or you'll suffer their eternal wrath and be labelled "a devil in disguise". It makes you feel that you're an angel turned drug dealer.

Sad, but true. So guys, if you fit into the above scenario, just learn well from your mistakes, get on with your life and continue doing good always.

Online Math Tutoring

When I was in school as a student, I never liked my math teacher who seemed to punish me for every single mistake. I kept failing the subject in school exams and also in public exams. Consequently, I grew up hating math. In those days, there wasn't such a thing as getting math help online as the Internet had not existed then.

Nowadays, kids are far more fortunate. With TutorVista, they're able to get free math help online from qualified K-12 tutors. TutorVista is actually the leading online tutoring company in the world, currently, serving over 4 million online tutoring sessions. This online company follows the national curriculum. For a small tuition fee, you'll be able to access a whole lot of topics and free math help 24/7. If only I had this kind of assistance long ago.

The best thing about joining TutorVista is that you'll get the same tutor in each session. By chatting with this personal math tutor, they're able to help you solve math problems which you face daily. Therefore, if you find difficulty in solving math problems, TutorVista is the way to go as you'll get unlimited tutoring and homework help.

For first time users, you'll be able to receive a demo session for FREE. So, if you're looking for free math answers and free math answers problem solver, I guess it's wise to check out TutorVista website for more information. You have just found yourself a math problem solver.